How Not Being on a Schedule Disrupts Our Entire House

Since the time Leah was 6 months old I insisted on keeping her on a strict schedule.  She ate every couple of hours, she had scheduled nap times, outdoor time was scheduled.... Everything was strictly scheduled.
I have been told that I am way to strict as a mama. But, I am a firm believer that children need structure. And they will not create that structure for themselves.
It worked really well for us (and still does).  We had no idea at the time that Leah was autistic. And we had no way of knowing how much that the schedule we had made for her would help both her and us out in the future. Leah was an easy going baby and probably didn't need a schedule. But, she sure made it easy to keep her on a schedule because she was just so easy to make happy.

When Little Joshua was born, it was a whole other story. Keeping that little guy on any kind of schedule was nearly impossible.  His schedule consisted of being held or screaming. There was no way around it.  He was born screaming and he had a very strong set of lungs.

 He was a mamas boy all the way. And the screaming was so bad if I wasn't holding him, that we couldn't even get a babysitter for this kid. lol  I can't begin to say how many pictures I have of this kid screaming. All because I couldn't hold him 24/7.

Thankfully he did outgrow that stage and we were finally able to get the family unit running again on some sort of schedule. Although, it took a lot of getting used to since we now had 2 little ones only 11 months apart.

Fast forward to now...... Both kids are now on a set schedule and it works awesome. But, sometimes I wish we could just break away for a day two. The last 2 weekends I have let both kids miss their naps for a play date or something fun.  And both times I have done this has been a complete disaster. 
Leah sits and screams and spins circles pretty much nonstop all day.  To all of you Autism moms out there you know exactly what I am talking about.  And, it doesn't get better with bed time. In fact, it gets worse. By the time bedtime rolls around they are so overly tired that they just can't calm down.
I am going to list a few ideas for you other parents who struggle with the same thing. Because sometimes it is not possible to stick to the schedule. Although we have certainly learned our lesson. Leah will be staying on a schedule as much as possible.


#1 A warm bath.
I have found that a bath works wonders. Leah will keep calm long enough to give you at least a little bit of a break from the screaming. Usually about an hour in a warm bath. Most time the screaming starts back up as soon as she gets out tho.

#2 Lavender
I make my own Lavender Coconut oil lotion to rub on her before she goes to bed. And she loves it. Lavender has a calming effect. And if she is too cranky I let her hold the bottle of lavender oil and I instruct her to breath in slowly and smell it. She loves the attention and it works well.

#3 Song time
She loves to sing. And usually she will calm down and sing it with me. Her favorite song being "the wheels on the bus go round and round".  If that song doesn't work, we play gentle music on the radio throughout the house. 

#4 Sometimes you have to just let her scream. Focus on not getting too frustrated and leave her be. Make sure she is in a safe place where she cannot hurt anything especially herself.  For us, that place is her bedroom. We have taken all furniture (other than her bed) out of the room. And she only has her favorite stuffed animals. Animals with nothing hard, no buttons and no eyes.

If you don't have respite care like we don't. Than number 4 is essential. Take care of yourself. You cannot take care of your child properly if you are running on empty. They will be okay for a few minutes. And sometimes I spend that time in a warm shower until I am calm enough to start over with her. Spend much time on your knees in prayer. Our strength comes from above. Nobody else. You need Gods strength.

Bre Shafer AKA Crazy Mama